Hello You Fool, I Love You!

Gosh I suddenly had that song ringing between my ears. What a classic that was from Roxette. The last time I heard it, I believe I was in Huan Lin’s Kancil. That fellar has a knack for all things old school. Keepin it real!

Ok, enough of the hood-talk.

I find myself constantly in the battle against taking people for their face-value. It’s so hard for me to reserve my judgments once I take one look at a person. Okay, I don’t prescribe to most stereotypes and I am not openly homophobic, racist or fat-people-phobic. But sometimes it’s just hard to silence what my exposure to society has thought me.

Overweight people tend to be the butt of a lot of jokes these days as America tries hard to keep its citizens in shape. Very often obesity is associated with laziness, greed, gluttony and a slew of bad habits. The obese are commonly associated with excessive flatulence and strong body odor. With the awareness of such characteristics, what would your first impression be when a chubby guy falls within your sight? Smelly, lazy, tardy…

The battle against racial stereotypes also is a struggle I face every now and then. Forget the media, but sometimes reality itself can be a reinforcement of such preconceived ideas. I got a pretty good idea about that during my trip to Philadelphia, which has a very large population of African Americans.

Just walking the streets of Philly, there were large numbers of homeless people and street bums, aggressive-looking individuals and panhandlers. Sirens could be heard almost every night from my accommodation. I even witnessed an interrogation of an African American woman. Did I try to avoid walking close to a Black man coming from the opposite direction at night? Of course I did. Did I clutch on to my wallet every time I walked by a Black man loitering around an alley? Guilty! Call me a racist, but wouldn’t you do the same? Won’t your primal instincts of survival and safety of self kick in?

I do have very good friends who are a little on the round side, and good companions who are African American. It is experiences like that which help tip the balance. And I do thank God for such blessings which help me evaluate people from a more neutral point of view. Unfortunately, what I struggle with is that the negative usually jumps in before the positive.

I’d love to stick to the “innocent unless proven guilty approach”, but sadly it is not the case for me. It takes a while for me to like people, and I tend to be very selective when it comes to friendships. That’s probably why I don’t have a particularly large pool of friends.

Just to hoist me out of the fire a little, I believe that it’s only natural to think in such a way as our instincts would tell us to be cautious with whatever we are unfamiliar with.